you must be new here. nu?

this is in fact a day to remember. a day of NEW and NU.

• his birthday party was early this afternoon and he is four years old. and he knows what he wants from life. he is four and he knows more than i do at 31. he has a gift for honesty not laced with the brutality of disappointment. his is the honesty of those with pure hearts and active imaginations. he knows the facts are in and truth is king. i know this already but his openness is astounding. i have been honest yet dishonest if you can understand what that means. it means i need truth, i seek it and ask for it and do everything i can to give it. and yet i fail. i am asking too much. i want to be taken back to my life at four and savor the purity i had - that we all had - the days when, even though subliminal forces were at work, i had no practical knowledge of them and therefore no motive to act on them. these days i move as close to my childhood as possible.

• she is my adopted mamah. i will call her that here from this moment on because she is that to me. my own mother is not here. she hasn't been and i don't see her in my future. my mamah is a gift to me. she doesn't belong to me, she belongs to my boyfriend and his siblings. it wasn't always this way... we have grown into this life because we love the same person and he is her son and i am his girlfriend. she is a good teacher and today taught me a new yiddish word - nu. she finally saw a serious man with her daughter and so she told me what it means. so? well? so what's up? what's new? and? i am making a point to learn more yiddish and the history of that language. i like dialects because they so often come out of oppression. people need privacy when there is none to have. creating an entire language out of other languages that people have forgotten about and saying "this is what bonds us now - no one can hurt us if we keep our words a secret". there is so much power behind that. i wish i had my own secret language. the power you have over me is the one i wish i had over you.
  

• this is my first blog. i am making a poor first impression so please forgive me. this promises to be rich if not oysgeputst. though the title of this blog may seem confusing or unsuited upon first glance - i can assure you it is a true statement. there will be articles of interest and personal information (though i will never give names if possible) along with things i make like food, music and crafts, film, new findings and at times my dog may post in place of me. his name is the only name i will use. maxwell valentine. my own goals are unclear to me as of yet, the only one at present being that i want to do this. i know that blogging experts will tell you to focus on one topic so you can gain a loyal audience. i am not interested in only one topic. it sounds very limiting and to be honest quite flat. i intend to be round. and that is that. please join me if you don't like expectations.